i get asked a LOT about z DRAMA in SL fashion and thankfully, i don't really encounter too much of it. yes there are seasons where i do have a bit, but that pretty much goes with the territory of knowing people in ANY life.
i "try" to always believe the "best" in people, and that helps a lot as i'm not too suspicious of people who speak to me or whatever. i guess ignorance is bliss at times.
on those "rare" occasions where a really good "wolf in sheeps clothing" comes on the scene, i'm usually the last to figure it out... and well when i do, i'm sorta shocked. like i said, i tend to believe the best in people and choose to live that way. the very FEW who are real pieces of work are WAY less than the genuinely cool people i get to meet with and work with everyday.
ok so what are things i do when meeting people and stuff and then finding out someone has some MAJOR character issues...
1. believe the best. if you do, you see the best, and often get the best.
2. give freely and encourage ppl. why? it feels good, makes you and the person happy and honestly, what you give you get.
3. remember everyone has demons they deal with, often "weird" behavior is just that. don't see every weird thing as a huge major issue that has anything to do with you.
4. trust until someone proves untrustworthy. (this is hard, but often you can see signs at the beginning that will play themselves out) DON'T let past experiences ruin the possibilities that exists with new person you meet. you may miss out on a great person.
5. if others mistake your kindness as weakness, that's ok. you don't need to PROVE to someone you have strength by being as childish as they may be.
6. decide what YOUR principles are for doing business (or relationships), and stick to those. (you won't always make your ideal) it's really important to know where you want to be and why.
7. when a person proves to be NOT what they have claimed. GO TO THEM FIRST. don't blog it, gossip, (venting to a close friend is different), ban them, etc. have the courage to personally contact them. they may not like it but it's a great opportunity to work things out. also if it fails, you can know you gave them the chance to fix what they did. when it does work out, which is often most of the time, the person and you will now have a better understanding of each other and often the best friendships withstand these human instances.
8. if a DRAMA issue does NOT work when you have gone to the person... just put your head back to YOUR goals and move on. don't worry about revenge, and all that, believe me, in EVERY instance, you will see them do the SAME thing over and over and remember "if they do it to you, they do it to others"... eventually most people find out. you don't need to ruin your time or energy on their nonsense. (this isn't always easy so perhaps find a friend that can keep you on course.)
(now if this is something illegal in SL business, etc. just AR them, don't tell them, just do it.)
9. stay close to those with GOOD reputations. people earned good reps for a reason. people earned bad ones too. also, look at the person who "gives you their opinion" on someone else... are they 'QUICK' to gossip? well guess what, "if they do it to others.. they ARE doing it about you too"
10. keep being the BEST you can be. if you MESS UP, FESS up! own it, make sincere apologies. NO ONE is perfect. we all know that. it takes a lot of courage to say "you know i messed up big time, will you forgive me for that? i was so wrong" it takes none to say "oh sorry... i mean... uh... yeah sorry... this is the reason......" in other words... do JUDGE someone on HOW they handle their mistakes. that will tell you a WHOLE lot more about a person than how they may flatter or put their best foot forward.
ok so you asked, and there ya go.
p.s. yeah my computer issues are still not fixed but tis ok!