well, i've gotten a lot of positive response on my accidental "10 things" posts, no one mentioned if they noticed that one of them i only listed 5, hahaha. perhaps since i ramble on so, they just figured it was 10.
today what i've been thinking about is how good "grace and mercy" looks on those who wear it.
most of us know (well at least deep down inside) that we're not perfect, we don't always live up to our own set of ideals, or those of others. we make mistakes, have poor judgement at times, and do or say things we wish we'd not have done.
ok so what can we do when we find we have made a dreaded "mistake" and god forbid had it done publicly? AND ever more importantly how can we act when someone MAKES a mistake publicly and the ever-so-popular "herd mentality" kicks in to "crucify" the horrid "mistake maker!"
1. realize NO ONE is perfect. period. not YOU, not others NOT, me. end of story. if you live in the delusion that you are... "newsflash" everyone else knows it's not true. (well except maybe your mom or lovestruck partner)
2. realize that everyone makes mistakes they are embarrassed about! like do you REALLY think "said person" wanted to say, do, or otherwise act in a way that would have YOU, your amazing friends, and who knows who else blogging, gossiping OR passing chat around? i mean come on. i don't know of anyone who'd wish that on themselves.
3. realize that often people "react" instead of "act". this is NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR. are YOU always so composed and graceful that you never make a social faux paus? doubtful huh?
4. when someone does do or say something which is "out of line" in your opinion or *gasp* that of many others resist the very tempting desire to "show them a thing or two" and let them know how BAD what they did was. (i'm sure they know)
5. if someone is doing or saying something that is an obvious mistake, why not IM them privately and say it rather than in open chat or even worse in a group chat? do you really need to let everyone else see how you "told them off". i mean is your ego that in need of validation that you need to "stop" the dreaded offender in the open?
*note the above does NOT apply to someone who is being horribly abusive or harassing, in that case it's often best to quickly and swiftly say it openly. i'm speaking of other things that happen in our "typed" world where mistakes and faux paus happen.
6. remember we're ALL in this together. we all mess up. how wonderful it feels when we do that to have someone say, "oh gosh i've done that before... i wanted to hide for days... don't think another thing about it!"
7. if the "offender" apologizes and "fesses up when they mess up" please do NOT do the "apology accepted just think next time." why? you look like a pompous snob and a mistake is JUST that. the point here is to extend a little "grace and mercy".
8. if you can, laugh it off with them. chances are the person feels so so so dumb and is gonna be thinking about this a whole lot longer than you are. demystify it and in that let them see you fully understand things like that happen.
9. be kind.
10. if need be, defend the "mistake maker" if others go after them. this can be tough but what's worse? a person who makes a social error or the tons of others who sit and do the school yard mentality of belittling them and scolding them as if they themselves have NEVER made a mistake? have the courage to stand up and say, "hey guys, let's stop this, we all blow it". if you do that not only will the "mistake maker" feel a lot better, so will a TON of other people who witness the situation as they will know you're a person who would defend them too in a similar situation.
wow! i did 10!
do i make social mistakes. uh... YES... in fact i just did one the other night... don't ask!
so extend a bit of grace this month, hell, why not all year? we need it, i need it, if you don't can you please let us all know where and how you learned to get it all togethah? i'm sure we'd all be most grateful!
'til the next 10!
the mistake making caLLie!
p.s. i spell checked this an am proud to say THANK GOD FOR SPELL CHECK i had like 17 words misspelled!