well, i've gotten a lot of positive response on my accidental "10 things" posts, no one mentioned if they noticed that one of them i only listed 5, hahaha. perhaps since i ramble on so, they just figured it was 10.
today what i've been thinking about is how good "grace and mercy" looks on those who wear it.
most of us know (well at least deep down inside) that we're not perfect, we don't always live up to our own set of ideals, or those of others. we make mistakes, have poor judgement at times, and do or say things we wish we'd not have done.
ok so what can we do when we find we have made a dreaded "mistake" and god forbid had it done publicly? AND ever more importantly how can we act when someone MAKES a mistake publicly and the ever-so-popular "herd mentality" kicks in to "crucify" the horrid "mistake maker!"
1. realize NO ONE is perfect. period. not YOU, not others NOT, me. end of story. if you live in the delusion that you are... "newsflash" everyone else knows it's not true. (well except maybe your mom or lovestruck partner)
2. realize that everyone makes mistakes they are embarrassed about! like do you REALLY think "said person" wanted to say, do, or otherwise act in a way that would have YOU, your amazing friends, and who knows who else blogging, gossiping OR passing chat around? i mean come on. i don't know of anyone who'd wish that on themselves.
3. realize that often people "react" instead of "act". this is NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR. are YOU always so composed and graceful that you never make a social faux paus? doubtful huh?
4. when someone does do or say something which is "out of line" in your opinion or *gasp* that of many others resist the very tempting desire to "show them a thing or two" and let them know how BAD what they did was. (i'm sure they know)
5. if someone is doing or saying something that is an obvious mistake, why not IM them privately and say it rather than in open chat or even worse in a group chat? do you really need to let everyone else see how you "told them off". i mean is your ego that in need of validation that you need to "stop" the dreaded offender in the open?
*note the above does NOT apply to someone who is being horribly abusive or harassing, in that case it's often best to quickly and swiftly say it openly. i'm speaking of other things that happen in our "typed" world where mistakes and faux paus happen.
6. remember we're ALL in this together. we all mess up. how wonderful it feels when we do that to have someone say, "oh gosh i've done that before... i wanted to hide for days... don't think another thing about it!"
7. if the "offender" apologizes and "fesses up when they mess up" please do NOT do the "apology accepted just think next time." why? you look like a pompous snob and a mistake is JUST that. the point here is to extend a little "grace and mercy".
8. if you can, laugh it off with them. chances are the person feels so so so dumb and is gonna be thinking about this a whole lot longer than you are. demystify it and in that let them see you fully understand things like that happen.
9. be kind.
10. if need be, defend the "mistake maker" if others go after them. this can be tough but what's worse? a person who makes a social error or the tons of others who sit and do the school yard mentality of belittling them and scolding them as if they themselves have NEVER made a mistake? have the courage to stand up and say, "hey guys, let's stop this, we all blow it". if you do that not only will the "mistake maker" feel a lot better, so will a TON of other people who witness the situation as they will know you're a person who would defend them too in a similar situation.
wow! i did 10!
do i make social mistakes. uh... YES... in fact i just did one the other night... don't ask!
so extend a bit of grace this month, hell, why not all year? we need it, i need it, if you don't can you please let us all know where and how you learned to get it all togethah? i'm sure we'd all be most grateful!
'til the next 10!
the mistake making caLLie!
p.s. i spell checked this an am proud to say THANK GOD FOR SPELL CHECK i had like 17 words misspelled!
Showing posts with label 10 things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 10 things. Show all posts
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
10 more things...
ok well yesterday's post got a lot of feedback too. since my graphics card issues are still not fixed i'm going to use this opportunity to share a bit more.
today... 10 things to try to strengthen an existing business or friendship relationship or otherwise known as "nice things to do that may cheer someone else up"
we all have days, week, years and stuff that SUCK EGGS! we can all relate to that huh? unless we live in utter denial (i try but it just does NOT work) we could all use a big of encouragement. even those we think of as uber successful, totally confident (not possible) or whatever we may think of some who seems to have it "all together" i can PROMISE YOU they do NOT and encouragement and nice things can really steer the course of someone's day in a very positive direction.
i find that VERY exciting, don't you?
ok so here are a few things we can try to just encourage each other along... i am thinking off the top of my head on this and some i do, have done or will do hopefully!
1. write your entire friends list and tell them you're thankful for them in your SL... this is FUN and OMG you will see the most interesting conversations emerge when a group of people start posting. it's a lot of fun.
2. send a little note of encouragement to a friend in SL you know is down. even a few words can really uplift someone.
3. write a Linden (pick one) and let them know you appreciate their efforts in making SL better, if you name something specific, even better!
4. visit a store of a "competitor" *gasp* and buy something you've been admiring for awhile. it's so much fun to actually SEE a REAL person who you know is a creator buy from you, and not just their alt.
5. invite a friend out for a 10 minute random tp adventure! (click on the map, go, then tp them! then let them do the same) this is one of my favorite games EVER... though once i ended up at the "diaper academy" (don't ask)
6. reach out to a friend who in your SL past was a bigger part and let them know (if it's true) that you miss them.
7. find 5 people on your list to just say HI to. (example: "hey, can't talk now but wanted to say hi and that i was thinking of you!")
8. send a few people a funny freebie. (i love the huge octopus) and name it, "the new black" must wear NOW.
9. say hello to a new person you may have recently met just to encourage them.
10. do one of those things you've been "meaning to do" when you had time. write that note, send that gift, just DO IT (sorry nike) :)
ok now since TIME is so limited, when doing anything that could turn into a long dialogue, simply state upfront, "i don't have time to talk but.. .wanted to send you this!"
i hope some of those things help you, i know i love when people take time to encourage me, i need it, daily... and anyway there ya go!
today... 10 things to try to strengthen an existing business or friendship relationship or otherwise known as "nice things to do that may cheer someone else up"
we all have days, week, years and stuff that SUCK EGGS! we can all relate to that huh? unless we live in utter denial (i try but it just does NOT work) we could all use a big of encouragement. even those we think of as uber successful, totally confident (not possible) or whatever we may think of some who seems to have it "all together" i can PROMISE YOU they do NOT and encouragement and nice things can really steer the course of someone's day in a very positive direction.
i find that VERY exciting, don't you?
ok so here are a few things we can try to just encourage each other along... i am thinking off the top of my head on this and some i do, have done or will do hopefully!
1. write your entire friends list and tell them you're thankful for them in your SL... this is FUN and OMG you will see the most interesting conversations emerge when a group of people start posting. it's a lot of fun.
2. send a little note of encouragement to a friend in SL you know is down. even a few words can really uplift someone.
3. write a Linden (pick one) and let them know you appreciate their efforts in making SL better, if you name something specific, even better!
4. visit a store of a "competitor" *gasp* and buy something you've been admiring for awhile. it's so much fun to actually SEE a REAL person who you know is a creator buy from you, and not just their alt.
5. invite a friend out for a 10 minute random tp adventure! (click on the map, go, then tp them! then let them do the same) this is one of my favorite games EVER... though once i ended up at the "diaper academy" (don't ask)
6. reach out to a friend who in your SL past was a bigger part and let them know (if it's true) that you miss them.
7. find 5 people on your list to just say HI to. (example: "hey, can't talk now but wanted to say hi and that i was thinking of you!")
8. send a few people a funny freebie. (i love the huge octopus) and name it, "the new black" must wear NOW.
9. say hello to a new person you may have recently met just to encourage them.
10. do one of those things you've been "meaning to do" when you had time. write that note, send that gift, just DO IT (sorry nike) :)
ok now since TIME is so limited, when doing anything that could turn into a long dialogue, simply state upfront, "i don't have time to talk but.. .wanted to send you this!"
i hope some of those things help you, i know i love when people take time to encourage me, i need it, daily... and anyway there ya go!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)